When you're angry,,,,

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. 

When people become angry they can experience many different thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions. Some people experience strong feelings of resentment or hostility, raise their voice, curse, or throw things. Other people experience physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, and increases in heart rate and blood pressure. For some, angry feelings become so overwhelming they feel ready to explode. Others may not know they are angry about a situation but will feel physically ill, guilty, or will overreact to other situations. 

 Raised voice

yelling

cursing, headaches

stomach aches

 tightness in the throat

 increased heart rate

 increased blood pressure clenched fists

threatening others

 pushing

 shoving

 hitting

 feeling violated

 hostility

 resentment rage.

Many people experience these general signs of anger. Identify which feelings you experience. Then, look at how your anger develops. There are some feelings and thoughts that occur when anger begins and those that occur as anger increases.  It may be helpful to fill out an anger scale. This scale will help you identify your physical symptoms, thoughts and feelings when you first begin to feel angry and help you track how these change as your level of anger increases. In order to use the form, try to think of situations in the past where you have experienced anger and recall what feelings and symptoms you experienced. It will be helpful to think of situations where you experienced different levels of anger in order to better understand how your feelings, thoughts and physical symptoms change.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge. Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

The best way is to count from one to ten, it's like diffusing all your energy that you have counted on from anger 10 till 1. It's like releasing, destressing the energy that you have "wasted". Controlling can sometimes trigger in a good manner as it gives out positive vibrations. Whenever you face problems, encounter anger and try finding solutions it's always at the calm side that you can think of things,,,releasing air,,,,because with anger, all air is cramped up inside your head and waiting for it to explode. Slowly counting from 10 till one like diffusing a bomb can help calm things down and can release negative energy that just cramped up inside your head.

It also helps that you avoid on things that could easily trigger your anger. It can ease down the weight of the anger factor inside the body, which is the negative thoughts and feelings. 

In result, it's living a peaceful and less stressful lifetime. :)

when is it time to give up?

There comes a time when you  cannot distinguish what is giving up and when you've had enough. This is my own version, hear me out as this is just me expressing what I feel and what I just gather around from friends who got fed up and chose to walk away.

When you give up, it boils down to like a glass full of water over-poured, when you have given everything that you have, generosity comes in just to keep the relationship working because you know in your heart that there is still to fight for but then, when the significant other keeps on repeating mistake after mistake and after mistake just like a tape recorder. You suddenly come to a point that you want to give-up because you see things as not working out anymore, just like putting both your hands up in the air and say the famous line "I GIVE UP!" . To save yourself from respect and save the other significant half with respect, leaving while there is still time for respect, because if to be continued hate develops and we do not want that to happen. Before you hear and say things that could grow into fruits of spite and hatred.

When you've had enough the quickest way is to walk away quietly, leaving the memories and moving on. It's the quickest way without arguments and discussions where you have given your all and yet it is still not enough. Just walk away peacefully. We sometimes have this feeling of explaining things on why we've had enough but it's best to walk away and control what you have to say.

I guess prayer is still the best way, asking the good Lord what is the best for us for he knows best :) because amidst all of the mistakes and the troubles we have caused him he never gave up nor did he said "ENOUGH!",,,,,just a though to ponder :)

faithfulness,,,

Be faithful in any relationship!

Faithfulness is the key to great inner peace, joy, happiness and sweetness in life. 

When one is not faithful, the relationship becomes cold, bitter and painful...Love and commit. Don't hit and quit.

it's just short but very powerful give it a thought,,,,it might come in HANDY :)

How To DEAL BACK STABBERS (My own point of view :))

When you realize a friend has been talking about you in negative and detrimental ways behind your back, what should you do?

Ask your friend if you can have an important, quiet chat together. Tell your friend that you've heard negative rumors about you that were apparently sourced from your friend and that you're trying to clear up things as quickly and carefully as possible.

Seek out your friend's side of the story before making assumptions about what has happened. Use open-ended questions to encourage discussion and avoid asking specific ones or grilling your friend. Simply ask what happened. Listen attentively and stay sympathetic.
Ask your friend how he or she felt about what they said or did.

Avoid interrupting. There may be a temptation to correct things they are saying but don't; just listen for now.

Always talk to your friend away from other people. You can't have a serious conversation about your relationship issues when other people are around.

If your friend won't answer or evades the issue, persist gently but don't push. It is important to avoid lapsing into a rant or an angry tirade against your friend, as this will only cause him or her to withdraw even further. Getting caught doing something negative to a friend is beyond embarrassing; it's mortifying and most people know it's an issue of broken trust.

Tell your side of the story next. Keep a calm and steady voice and use words that express your feelings. Avoid making statements that are accusations. Simply explain how their actions have made you feel. Be as nice as possible but don't sound desperate, accusatory or angry.
Don't mention the person who told you. If they mention names, take your cue from there.


Bear in mind that people who are more removed from you than your friend may have an ax to grind or simply like to stir up trouble. It is important to keep an open mind before launching into accusing your friend of letting you down and spreading rumors about you. Consider what you know about the people who have fed the stories back to you and what their agenda might be. Consider also why you think your friend might have said something she or he shouldn't have––perhaps something slipped out without meaning to, perhaps a mistaken belief that someone else knew something caused your friend to elaborate or perhaps your friend was clueless about the real intentions of the person she or he spoke with. 

Learning from Richard Bach,,,

I’m here not because I am supposed to be here, or because I’m trapped here, but because I’d rather be with you than anywhere else in the world. ~ Richard Bach

I came across with this beautiful quote over my news feed in Facebook and it struck me hard that DEFINITELY being in love doesn't need to be because you are suppose to be needed in that place or because you were forced to be in love but because of the  that UNCONDITIONAL feeling and that feeling of you would trade anything in this world just to be with that person.

A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys,
and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to open the locks,
our truest selves step out
and we can completely
and honestly be who we are;
we can be loved for who we are
and not for who we’re pretending to be.

Each unveils the best part of the other.
No matter what else goes wrong around us,
with that one person
we’re safe in our own paradise.

Our soulmate is someone
who shares our deepest longings,
our sense of direction.
When we’re two balloons,
and together our direction is up,
chances are we’ve found the right person.

Our soulmate is the one
who makes life
come to life.

Part of us is always the observer,
and no matter what,
it observes.
It watches us.
It does not care
if we are happy
or unhappy,
if we are sick or well,
if we live or die.
Its only job is to sit there
on our shoulder
and pass judgment
on whether we are
worthwhile human beings.

----- RICHARD BACH

Life As We Know It :)

 and so was staying home and watching tv ,,,,contemplating,,,,HA! and this timely movie comes in :)
huraay for HBO !!! Life As We Know It,,,

Holly and Eric were set up on a blind date by their friends, Peter and Allison who are married. After Peter and Allison are killed in an accident, they learn that they have been named as the guardians to Peter and Allison's daughter, Sophie. So they move into their house and try their best to honor their friends' wishes. But raising a child puts a crimp on their style and they don't exactly get along.

I am a great fan of romantic comedies and mind you not all of them are the  same. I actually laughed (unexpected) and even cried (really unexpected) during this movie. There is great chemistry between all the cast members . The premise that the story is based on is presented as very believable. I found myself immersed in the possibility of this happening in real life, not just reel life! I think the director brought out the best in the actors. Katie Heigl has more depth as an actor than I gave her credit for. Josh Duhmel proves to be more than just a pretty face. I really loved this movie and was so glad I went to see it!

:) just a heap of  trying to be happy and making things possible won'y hurt you a bit :)

How does it work? the CYCLE of LOVE

It all starts from a simple hello and hi,,,,

two steps forward,,,one step back

then the magic comes in LOVE

 you make dreams together,,,

feel all the LOVE surrounding you

no amount of time could take you apart

but then unexpectedly dreams crash and fall apart

and all the dreams became pieces of glass

 and somehow somewhere you still think of the things you do

and the way they use to be,,,but everything will just be a memory

you learn to embrace what is left behind and still LOVING and SINKING the moment

you were together.

:)

Why is LOVE so STUPID?

Love, of course, is not stupid.
Chemistry, masquerading as love, is stupid.

What is chemistry? It depends on the context. It typically means that you feel something when you are with or even think about the other person. You feel more alive. More often than not, chemistry also means, “I am interested in a sexual relationship with that person.”

Lack of chemistry tells you to say “no” to a person who otherwise seems so suited to you. But its presence tells you to say “yes”—even to a person who will guarantee a difficult relationship. Occasionally, chemistry gets it right and we make a wise relational decision, but some people win the lottery too.

It is complicated. Do you encourage marriage when there is no chemistry? Perhaps. But shouldn’t we expect that a marital partner is affected by—is moved by, feels something because of—the other person? And if chemistry connects to an interest in sex, then we would hope that there is some chemistry in every marriage. I have known people who married without any chemistry, and then, later, there was chemistry—but it was for someone else, and they renounced their marriage vows. Ugh. I love chemistry… and I hate chemistry.

What should we do when a loved one is overwhelmed by that chemical-combustion-mistaken-as-love? Here is one answer: I don’t know. I have yet to find anything that neutralizes it. Tackle the victims, tie them down, bring in a hundred witnesses to scream at and berate them, send them to boarding school—these are all fine ideas. They just don’t work. (Yes, it is sort of like treating an addiction).

But godly wisdom isn’t intimidated when we are at the end of ourselves. In fact, that is when godly wisdom begins its work. Wisdom begins with humble dependence on the Giver of Wisdom. It could include the following.

· Listen. Wisdom specializes in listening. Though chemistry can be stupid, it also has its reasons. Remember that the chemically-addled person is more like you than you think. Behind the attraction might be ordinary human desires, including the desire for a partner.

· Be concrete. What specifically are your concerns? Vague generalizations will not win the person over but prove you are simply “against them.” And be sure your objections are valid ones. Talk to another wise friend first to get an outside opinion of the relationship. For example, I know a situation in which the parents’ concerns are not valid. They are persuaded that their daughter is sinful in her desire to marry because she is not yet 25 years old. They didn’t marry before age 25, so their children shouldn’t either. These parents are imposing their own story on their daughter rather than Scripture.

· Ask the person to listen. You want the person to be wise, and wisdom listens. If the person refuses to listen, first consider how you might not be worth listening to and confess where you have gone wrong. Then appeal to the person—if the decision to marry is a good one, it should be able to bear up under the different perspectives of loved ones.

· Get help. This one can be difficult because the person believes you are simply lining up like-minded people. It works best when everyone can agree on which wise people to include.

· Keep moving toward the person in love. This becomes more difficult when the person demands that love means enthusiastic support. But biblical love is creative, and we can pray with a certain amount of confidence that our Father would allow our love to be blatant and undeniable.

Loved ones can get it wrong. An unwise relationship can grow into something better. But loved ones often get it right, especially if they are part of a larger chorus that is singing the same refrain. Either way, parents, family and friends will be led through suffering when someone they love is afflicted with stupid love. And hardships lead us to spiritual dependence and prayer.

:)

How do you say Goodbye?

When a circumstance happens that your personality might not like, it is imperative that you stop fighting what the universe is showing you, and start to look for the blessing in disguise, as well as the higher reason behind it.

When you truly learn to go with the flow, in the moment, you will gain a great deal of trust. What you will ultimately trust is that it is happening for your highest good and for the highest good of the other person. You might not see the higher reason at the current time, but you definitely will in hindsight.

You do not own another person. He or she can do whatever he or she wants to do. How could you not say goodbye if that is being asked of you? This is the root of desirous attachment. Your desires might be too attached to the other person in a way that is not healthy. The only way to release this, as with anything else, is with tremendous love and compassion for you and for the other person.

Look at what good can possibly come out of the situation. Look for what might very well be for each of your highest good. Replace "want" with "prefer". You "prefer" to trust that there are higher reasons behind this situation and what you "want" might not be possible at this time. It might be possible in the future, or never. Release that grip with a flow of unconditional love. This will serve each of you far better than holding on for dear life. As a matter of fact, a "dear life" is what you ultimately "want" both for you and the other person. Allow it to be what it is. As soon as you begin to "allow" then you will begin to feel inner peace, and the pain will vanish.

Hidden Truths About Falling Inlove

Love is oftentimes connoted with a feeling. Sure, for about five minutes. Then reality kicks in…and then love becomes the conjoined twin of the words for what may seem like an eternity to some people: "sacrifice", "commitment", "a choice". Lovely!

Like a full-time job, Olympic sport, fitness regimen, or financial investment, love, in its many forms, isn’t made for everyone unless one is truly prepared.

 -Love seems to be the hottest, most popular bachelor we’re never going to get: It’s just too damn elusive.

- Love as they say is like sweet poetry or the perfect dance between two people. But the problem is, not everyone can whip out a sonnet or bust a move like Usher. It takes much practice, patience, persistence and lonely nights.

-It always looks amazing at the start but, when the label has been made official, romance has now been replaced with too much lazy familiarity that not even a La-Z-Boy could compete. Promising, isn’t it?

- Just like having a pet or a child, commitment entails a No Return, No Exchange Policy (for as long as your pride can bear it just to say you didn’t give up first).

- It is the hardest universal subject that involves logic from the whole trial and error process, and yet no matter how many formulas you think you’ve mastered, it has another aspect in its curriculum that you can’t learn in school: band-aiding a broken heart.

- The fact that it is called “falling,” implies that there is a level of discomfort, uncertainty and vulnerability from appearing to be “weak” as you blindly (although others may call it fearlessly to sound less foolish) tread the so-called pathway to love (which is sometimes mistaken with lust).

- People are so afraid of bungee jumping or sky diving for the fear of dying in an instant and yet, “falling” in love, where if you don’t play your cards right, you can get your head, heart and soul crushed, torn, battered and bruised in a slow almost-death-like experience from the intense anguish. The worst part: it’s a slow torturous process that never leads to actual death since we were created to be resilient beings. Awesome!

- It is a drug that’s got no “Anonymous” support group other than your girlfriends’ place filled with chick flick DVDs, John Mayer’s “Heartbreak Warfare” on loop. Pajama pity party indeed!

- Another term for lover is a flame. Exactly! Just as a moth is lured to a flame or we are to an “end of season FINAL SALE” sign, it takes a hold on us, that we become defenseless. Hence the term, “burned by love...” or your credit card. Same banana.

- Just like a damn hiccup, it can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. And even if we hold our breath for 30 seconds as Google Facts swears it’ll kill the annoying reflex, it just won’t go away!!!

Yet, after all the ice cream, cheesy songs, drunken nights, and random rebound kissing have all served their purpose, by golly, it’s back in the rollercoaster saddle of this funny thing we call love.

We may have gained a few extra pounds from emotional eating or neglected our roots from not getting its monthly color retouching, but we gained such incredible insight about ourselves.

We turn out stronger, wiser, more confident individuals who ultimately seek only one type of revenge that hurts no one: to be happier.

It is only then that we can truly say that our past can no longer hurt us. They were yesterday’s news and today we’re making headlines as we return into the dating scene larger than life!

Bottom line, pain is the one thing we need to feel alive. It’s a prick on the nerve endings of our soul to realize how fleeting life and love are, that we need to grab them for dear life or the moment just might pass. We need love’s nemesis to truly understand, appreciate and respect love’s power on us: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Love truly is a drug and it’s just what the doctor recommended.

I guess that’s why they also call it, “Crazy in Love.” Anyone who’s ever been in love will say this: to experience the rush or reignite that spark just for a moment in time, they would gladly go through all the pain, all over again.

What a chick would DO at every age (inspired by COSMO MAGAZINE)

Your problems at age 28 are so different from those you had at 18. Here are some age-appropriate woes and how you can face them head-on.

Age is just a number—true, but hold it right there. Admit it: You get anxious about the number of candles adding up on your birthday cake. Unfortunately, nothing can keep you from the real woes and concerns that come at certain periods of your life. 

At 18: “Am I in the right course? Should I shift?”

Suddenly you find yourself wondering what in the world made you take this course. Now that you’re of legal age, you begin to think long-term and wonder if your course will prove to be as fun way after graduation.

 If in doubt, ask questions. Ask yourself first what it is you’re good in. There has to be something that you do better than your friends. Make list of these skills—general or specific ones. Then, write a personal mission statement that sums up your values and your ultimate goal.

At 22: “I’m so nervous about my first job. How will I know I’m on the right career path?”

 At last, you’re done with college, only to find another stretch of uncharted road ahead. Too bad, you no longer have professors to tell you what to do and how things can be done.

 Be patient. “Don’t focus on when you’re going to move up; focus on what you’re doing now. So, instead of doubting your capabilities and worrying about your future, let yourself get acquainted well with the job. Give yourself about a year before you decide whether to stay in the company or pursue another job. And in the meantime, work to the best of your ability every single workday and see what happens.

At 25: “I don’t know what to do with my life. Should I change jobs? Move out? Get married? Is this quarter-life crisis?”

Things aren’t turning out the way you wanted. It’s frustrating to have so many choices but you can’t make one. Stuck in a rut? You’re not alone.

 Be a go-getter, not a rigid “checklister.” It’s good to have a plan, but you should also be willing to welcome change and unafraid to commit mistakes every now and then. And, when faced with a multitude of options, pick one and stick to it. Sometimes, you just have to decide and be content with your decision, otherwise you will continue to be torn between the reality of what you have and the fantasy in your head of what you think would be better.

At 28: “I’m already 28 and I still don’t have savings. Trust me, my financial status is less than impressive.”

By now, your savings account should be steadily growing. Instead, you have an outstanding credit card balance and bills to pay.

First, pay your bills on time and pay off your debt. Monitor and control the outflow of your money. And when you do need to spend, don’t max out your credit card. Choose a card with a lower credit limit to instill some discipline. Finally, automate your savings. You can ask your bank to funnel a certain amount of your checking account into your savings. As you become more adept at saving money, increase the amount and keep on saving up.

At 30: “I’m 30 and I still don’t have a boyfriend. Will I still have a chance to get married?”

 You have it all—except for a gutsy man to ask for your hand. Worse, your friends and family can’t just help but prod at your almost happy life.

Have the time of your life, whether you’re single or not. Sure, you’re no longer 20 years old, but that’s a good thing. This is your time to experiment and learn what would make you a happier person. Once you start refocusing your efforts on you, instead of why you’re alone, why he isn’t proposing, or why everyone you know has already beaten you to the bridal shop, you’ll be on your way. The more you focus on the things you can control, the less the other stuff is going to affect you.

Falling in love over and over again

Ever wondered if you will still be loving the one you are with now forever, or that if you woke up tomorrow morning you would still be feeling the same about them? 

Well, here is how you can fall in love with your partner over and over again. Just because you have been with your partner for a long time it is not a reason enough to start taking them for granted and stop doing special things for them. In fact the more you stay with a person the more special things you should do for them. This is because when you settle into something comfortable for you, something that lacks all the excitement all you will be doing is you will be boring your partner. If you do not want this to happen to you, do something special and exciting with and for your partner.

Show your partner that you appreciate all that they are and what they do. If you keep appreciating someone and not highlighting all their short comings they will love you even more. This is because they will know that you love them for them and you do not expect something more in return but just love and understanding. They will end up falling for your personality. If you are yourself, everyday there will be something new about you, something interesting that your partner would like to explore. This way your partner will be falling in love with the person that is you.

Be flexible and fun to be with, do not be rigid to a point where your partner cannot suggest anything out of the usual and expect you to be happy about it. This is because many people, In fact most people want to have some good company, someone who would make them laugh even when there is nothing to laugh about. Someone who they wont have to make an effort to entertain them but someone who when they are together, they both feel comfortable and fun to be with. That way, you will make your partner fall in love with you again every time you have a conversation and you make them feel great about themselves or something.

Make your partner feel wanted, needed and loved. Involve them in everything you do and make them feel like they are part of you. Tell them you love them and when you need them, make sure you tell them. This way, you will make your fall more and more in love whenever he or she thinks that you love them and that you need them. 

Love is a process and it needs to be natured the correct way of loving people will guarantee that the person falls in love with you all over again but if you go about it the wrong way, love will never survive long. :)

Do you have TRUST issues?

Nobody likes to be fighting with a loved one, but a loss of trust causes serious problems. Trust issues are hard to overcome and often keep popping up. You and your partner must resolve your trust issues if you are to move toward a more healthy relationship.

Talk it out. This seems obvious, but when two people in a relationship talk, it helps if the couple trusts each other. Building trust can be especially hard with someone you're in a relationship with because that person has the power to hurt you. By practicing constant communication and keeping it open and honest, trust can be slowly built, or rebuilt.

Forget the past. Don't hold on to old hurts. Everyone's been hurt, and you need to work through those issues, not hold on to them and shove them in the other person's face. This will only make things worse, and it won't resolve anything. The important thing is to not dwell on the things that happened.

Focus on the present. Don't let your mind think about the bad things that could happen. When you focus on what could be, you're heading down a road that destroys trust. Banish negative thoughts and think about what IS happening, not what could happen.

Take it slowly. Take your relationship day by day and communicate daily as well. Don't expect all of your walls to come crumbling down overnight--it takes work, and time.

Building trust takes time and rebuilding trust takes even longer. Remember, it's a process. :)

On being happy,,,

As we all have likely noticed by now, there is endless information all around us these days dealing with the topic of happiness, and specifically, how to be happy. There is no shortage of books, blog posts,  & documentaries on the subject. 

 It’s naturally a popular subject because it’s the one thing we are all after. And one would think that since there has been this explosion of material dealing with how we should go about achieving happiness, we’d all have it in the bag. 

 But somehow we don’t. 

 We’re still searching. Why is that? I mean it seems pretty simple: happiness is a choice, so choose it. Right?  

Mission accomplished. Think positive thoughts & go forth being happy. It’s all about the attitude, so improve your attitude. Voilà! Happiness is right there. And let’s not forget the importance of Gratitude. 

 Counting your blessings each day is a sure fire way to finding happiness.

It may sound like I am mocking or being sarcastic, but I actually believe all of these things. 

 I just don’t believe they are easy to do. I think these messages are too often delivered in an oversimplified manner and with not enough direction on what it takes to put such shifts in attitude, perspective and behavior into practice. 

 And happiness does inevitably take practice. For some it will require more practice than for others. 

 I learned just recently that people are born with a happiness baseline. How happy and optimistic we naturally are is in our DNA. The good news is, the level of happiness we inherit accounts for only 50% of our total measure of happiness. A good portion of the rest is absolutely up to us, but it will take some work.

:)

when nails grow,,,

When nails grow, we cut the nails not the fingers.
Similarly, when misunderstandings grow, we should cut the misunderstandings not the relationship.

I have loved and I always will
love you,,,

I have to ask because
it bothers me same with what
you will do,,,,

this shouldn't be the end because this is just a
small pebble of what we have gone through,,,

 all I wanted was security,,,,

I have given my everything and willingly still to be there for you

after all that has been through,,,

willing even if I am not the least in your priority,,,

willing even if we come second in your life,,,,

but then I guess you will never
understand my point of view,,,

relationships do not work that way,,,

and if you plan on leaving US again,,,

because of this lame situation,,,

there will never be another because you will be my last.

We love you always bear that in mind.

Friendship,,,what's the real deal?

Friendship is a relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other.

Friendships and acquiantancship are thought of as spanning across the same continum.

The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy and zoology. (WHAT THE HELL?????!!!)

Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory relational dialects, and attachments styles,,,,ERRRRRRRR??????

The value of friendship is often the result of friends consistently demonstrating the following:

-The tendency to desire what is best for the other
-sympathy  and empathy
-honesty, even in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth
-Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
-Enjoyment of each other's company
-trust in one another
-Positively strong, deep, close reciprocity, mutuality — equal give-and-take between the two parties
-The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.

Friendship has two dimensions.

 The two dimension include: 

quality and conflict. 

The quality of friendship is important for a persons well being and it contributes to the closeness of friends. Within the quality of friendship, it is important to have healthy and interesting interaction. This type of interaction leads to a higher quality of friendship. The second dimension is conflict, which connects with the quality of friendships. High quality friendships have great ways of resolving conflict which ultimately leads to a stronger and healthier relationship.

In this basis, friendships rule in every relationship in this world. May it be from your Parent-Child, Husband-Wife, Boyfriends-Girlfriends and Friends-Friends.

So just enjoy, and nourish the relationship and grow with each other as any conflicts arises sit and talk what other way to do than expressing and pouring out your heart.

:)

when enough is enough,,,,

Lately, I've been approached by a friend who was having relationship troubles, yes she is in a relationship but with uncertainties and just like a sinking sand,,,,she has been sinking all along deep inside,,,without the partner knowing it and that the partner would not open up and would just shush her out.

There are few things more difficult than really taking a close look at our troubled relationship, even if you know it is the right things to do. Many unhealthy relationships go on for far longer than they should for several reasons, none of which usually lead to one or both partners actually finding happiness.

When you feel that something is seriously wrong between you and your partner, the worst possible mistake you can make is to let it go, pretend that nothing is happening. While some minor problems may fade away when left alone, most only become worse over time and those who want a relationship to last may find heartache at the end, despite their hope.

Some of the most common reasons for avoiding ending a relationship have little to do with the dynamic the individuals share and are more often caused by underlying problems, ones that the people involved may not even be aware of:

Fear of Being Alone: Unfortunately, while love may bring a great deal of companionship, the wrong kind can feel lonelier than being single. The desire to have friendship in your life is not a good reason to stay in a romantic relationship and may put too much of a burden on your partner.

Time Invested: Many couples won't even consider logical break up advice even when the relationship has become far more negative than is healthy for either partner simply because they feel that they have invested too much time and effort into making it work. This need to succeed is often seen in those with more competitive natures and while this may serve them well in some aspects of life, it is also important to know when it's time to call it quits.

Scary Out There: Certain individuals will remain in their current, unhappy relationships because the idea of meeting singles and trying to find new love simply terrifies them. The thought of starting a new relationship, in essence starting from scratch, is so frightening that they will overlook their current position, even when it has become dangerous.

Still Have Feelings: Falling in love and maintaining a relationship are often intertwined but not the same thing. Many couples resist the idea of breaking it off because though they may recognize the poor situation they are in, the still care for their partners.

These reasons and many more keep millions of unhappy couples together every day. While certain reasons are understandable to a degree, such as staying together for the sake of children, for the most part it robs one or both partners of a potential happiness and causes a great deal of pain over time.

One of the greatest questions a person who is considering just how bad their relationship might be is this: Are you happy or unhappy most of the time? Whether you need to create a pros and cons list or simply delve through the past year and try to recall your happiest moments, it is important to be able to identify the cause of your negative feelings.

Another truly horrible aspect of a break up is that in many cases one or both partners may still care for each other and may continue to try working on a relationship that has little hope of succeeding. While it certainly may work out in the end of two people love one another enough and are willing to work on how they interact, in many cases this become a long and grueling process, finally resulting in an exhausting end.

In order to avoid some of the worst pitfalls of a bad relationship, it is vital to recognize where the problem areas are and whether or not they may be worked on over time. An example of this might be one partner's continued bad habit over many years. If this habit caused the other partner to feel very negative and they see no sign of improvement over time this may mean that the relationship is not progressing. This lack of effort on one side may also indicate a reluctance to compromise, which is essential to any strong, healthy relationship.

Looking toward the future may not include seeking out new people right away and those who feel frightened by the prospect of being alone should take comfort in the time they will have to better understand themselves. In time, if a person feels healed and ready there are an abundance of ways to meet people. 

Some may choose to become more active in their community and find other with common interests. Others may choose to find love online where they can select from groups of people who are more likely to suit their needs. However the path is chosen, there are plenty of opportunities to begin again if you should so desire and a better chance of happiness awaiting you than the current relationship which has become more of a burden than a blessing.

Remember that in order to secure your chance at happiness; you must be able to move away from the things which would destroy it. Though it may take reserves of courage you did not know you had, if it is time to say goodbye to a relationship that has little or no chance of making you happy, the right thing to do is to strive for something that will.

:)

when is LOVE complicated?

For real, is it really that complicated? or is it because of people making it more complicated? love gives out extremes emotions that really depends if it is going to be happy or heart break.

But on the other side, people have their own set of thinking. That's why even if you become a "psychic" or just a plain mind-reader, there are no uncertainties. Change comes in, in the nick of time.

Love is so complicated, there are no reasons or explanations why do you love the person. It is much more felt using the heart than the mind. There could be answers, but it is not sure or not even a concrete answer you will find. This could not even be answered even if man seeks for it, looking and looking for answers. A pretty face? kindness? security? what more?

Love is so complicated that no amount of material things that could compare your feelings to that person. You may have roses, chocolates or even a DVD of  her favorite movie. But the question is, does it please her? with things like that? will she love you back?. Others may fall just by the mere greeting of "good morning" may it be text, chat or a phone call or even in person. Some just a mere greeting falls inlove.

Love is so complicated, time has it's own difference. somtimes you are both ok with it at times, not. One moment you're sweet and the next thing there's you are like strangers in the night. It's but natural. Part of life. There are no permanent things in this world.

Love is so complicated when small things, becomes big. You may think, you won't be jealous of his friends who are so close to him even with the looks of the feet flirting back at him. He merely just said "hi" and some may even have argued about it. The simplest things, can heat up. And the simple misunderstanding can lead to complications.

Love is so complicated that you dreaming  of FOREVER, just vanquished in the dark, just like a bubble. In one snap, it just vanished like NEVER-MORE. Because this is just it. the product of  romantic relationship can lead into two things : Never-ending like "till death do us part" and Uncertainties if it is going to last. Is there a difference? there is a fact that as long as the feeling is still there and respect for each other you will really be together in for a good ride.

But how about married couples? even if romance is gone they are still together? they made a promise to each other. That is why it is called marriage, but romance can really fade. What's left is friendship. But it grows deep with  understanding and respect. Because they know each other that well and foundation of thier love for each other is because of friendship.

Love is so complicated that when friends slap you the answer to your problem about your girl/ guy. Yes, still it seems blurry not until he /she tells you. It may be that the signs are already present that he is not interested in you anymore. It may be your friends have given you a thousands a shore of advices telling you to STOP. But not until he tells you himself, you won't wake up. Not until you hear the word STOP or like IT'S OVER,  you still hold on. does it make you stupid? and even if how many times you seek advice to Papa Jack or Joe d' Mango (both are famous LOVE radio advisers in the Philippines) and still you cannot do it? then what's the use of the advice? What for? as always nothing.

Love is so complicated that the word  MOVE-ON is so hard to mention. Specially if you really are not sure. Because you'll never know you might bump into each other and might want to patch things up. There is a saying PAST IS PAST you cannot bring it back anymore. But on the contrary "Love is sweeter the second time around " .Really depends on how many chances you are willing to give. Zero-tolerance might come into place, pity you or maybe stupid you.

And even if how many times you read this blog for how many times and even other articles about complications in love, for sure you would not understand it, specially if you are in that kind of state. It's unruly. That's why it is complicated.

Strangely enough--Sometimes, the wrong choices will bring us to the right places :)

Making the wrong choice is something most of us are terrified of doing. Sometimes we are so afraid that we will choose wrongly, that we procrastinate endlessly to avoid choosing at all. Even not choosing is a choice though, and in the grand scheme of things there is no such thing as a bad choice. Even a choice that ends up working out differently than you might have hoped can bring many opportunities for growth and learning.

The only wrong choice is to cling steadfastly to a situation that is causing you pain. Refusing to let go of a miserable situation not only makes you unhappy, but it blocks you from finding positive new opportunities.

Whatever your fears and beliefs may be, if you are in a situation that is causing you pain and unhappiness, then staying is not the choice of your higher self. If it feels wrong, that’s because it is. While a certain amount of discomfort is fine and necessary in learning to take chances and to grow, serious emotional suffering is a sign that all is not well.

With physical exercise, you can expect to feel a little sore as you push your fitness level to the limit. If your exercise regime is causing intense pain, though, you are doing something wrong. The same goes for life choices. There is nothing wrong with feeling that you are out of your comfort zone as you explore new opportunities and seek growth and advancement. But, if your choices and circumstances are causing you extreme distress, you really need to question your reasons for sticking with them.

There are many reasons that people stay in situations that cause them distress, and most of these reasons are based on fear. These fears can range from beliefs that you don’t deserve to be happy or that it is not possible to be happy, fear of change and the unknown, and a feeling that it is better to have something, even something painful, rather than nothing. It is scary to step into a void. Most people do everything within their power to avoid a feeling of emptiness, but it is only by becoming empty that we can receive the miracles of life.

Sometimes people stay in a bad situation because they feel that they have invested so much time, energy, emotion, and that by walking away, they would be ‘losing’ their investment. Energy can never be lost. Anything that you have put your heart and soul into will undoubtedly have given you much in terms of growth and learning. I am grateful for the many experiences I have had- even the painful ones. It is often from pain that we learn the most.

However, to stay trapped in a situation that you have come to realize is not healthy, and is hurting you, is a bad choice. However difficult and painful it will be to walk away, it will certainly be more painful to stay.

Emotional pain is the message of your higher self telling you that something is wrong. Listen to the message, and look within yourself for the courage to break free.

You do deserve to be happy, happiness is possible, and life and love don’t need to cause you pain. There is no wrong choice in life, but there are certainly some choices that have much more happiness to offer.


Choose happiness!

come to think of it,,,,woman's intuition :)

I believe women live in their own pocket of time. As nurturer's of the earth, women have a way of transcending their senses. As earth nurturer's they do not freely follow the road of logic. Instead they float through life's curves by their hunches. Utilizing the appearance of common sense, the female life scientist translates and conceptualizes their world very differently. Mathematical formulas and philosophical analogies don't apply to their world at hand. 

Women live in an emotional dimension. They are powerfully tapped into their hunches.               A woman's intuition is her inner guidance. The skill of reading herself has been an attribute of women for centuries. Emotionally travel-prone women travel their hunches, stopping at every gut feeling they have. Their sensitivity to their common sense and to the environment that surrounds them makes them the ultimate life traveler. A woman's ability to tap into her higher wisdom gives her the ability to look inward to her understanding of the world that encompasses her. 

Therefore, a woman doesn't play with her hunches and emotions. She trusts them. Interestingly, a woman's intuition is uncannily accurate. A mind oasis of meaning and significance, a woman's intuition is the magical sensitivity that makes her warmhearted by nature.

Here are ways a I could think of  to tap into our intuition.

1. Plunge into your feelings. Believe in them. When you feel a certain way stop and give thought to how you are feeling.

2. Express your inner feelings to others. Your hunches should not be kept a secret.

3. Freedom of self-expression is essential. Explore laughter, explore tears, be emotional. Keeping feelings inside inhibits emotional experience.

4. Know that you are a mystery. Accept that you can't figure yourself out!

5. Your emotions are the breadcrumbs to your essence. Follow them diligently and they will lead you to who you are...someday.

6. Never second-guess yourself. Each day you must climb the ladder of inner wisdom. At first the steps may seem rickety, but as your belief in yourself firms up, you will soon be able to climb the ladder of inner wisdom without grabbing on to the guardrail of life.

7. Listen to your hunches in the workplace place, as well as in your personal life. Work values can be enhanced by gut feelings. The best business ideas have been known to come from a hunch.

8. Never discredit yourself. A deep understanding of your feelings is essential. You cannot tap into your hunches if you veer off the road of self-respect. Become acquainted with the learner in you. Remember, the learner in you is the scholar. It is the learner within us that gives us character and helps us reach for impossible obstacles.

Just open your door :)

thank you LORD,,,,

There are tons and tons and even trillion things to thank the Lord for. When we cease to forget at times, where the Lord only asks us a simple Thank You and nothing else, nothing more. I would always, and religiously thank the Lord even for the simplest things in life that comes in my way. May it be good or bad, it's always a test of faith.

As always he gives us the unconditional love that nobody or no one else could give. It's always his will and his will be done.

So in every way that we can just give thanks for he is good and he is God.



Dear father, lord, and savior hear my prayer. 

Quiet my heart and mind so I may accept your glorious blessings.

Dear Lord I Love you soo much, because of you I have all the blessings in life that would make anybody absolutely full and complete. Dear lord you know my needs and wants and I know that I have to suffer and go through trials in life to understand my faith.

 Please fill my soul and life with the ability to do miraculous things in your name, to change this world that is corrupted in every way.

Thank you for my life, family, friends, and successes. I ask these things in your name.

Amen 

:)

Friendship

don't let mistakes ruin a friendship, put them behind you and move on, and let your friendship get stronger ;)

I get busy on a Friday schedule,,, juggling alternate classes from 7:30 am til 5 pm (teaching of course from Classical Ballet to Hip-hop then to Cheer Leading) . Even with the tiring classes, one friday stood to test a friendship that should have been long-gone fixed up, mended and should have moved-on with the pain that has caused them.

It is really hard when you get into a situation where you do not know who to blame unless you know the "REAL" thing. It was hard for me to judge at first but judging was out of the issue, it is merely and it should , be opening up, being honest and humble enough to commit your mistakes, and gain forgiveness with each other.

This is a true test of maturity in friendship, when you hinder on bowing down with your mistakes no amount closure between the two is going to happen at all, because one is still sufferring from grief and pain. In any relationship there will always be a TEST, there will always be that point where you maturity will be tested. You do not make another mistake as a form of revenge when both of you are hurting.

Put everything behind you, when you REALLY VALUE the relationship, the friendship, put everything else, the hurtful words, the painful past situation and MOVE ON TOGETHER to a new chapter. 

Nobody's perfect, no relationship is perfect, may it be marriage, friendship or working relationship that is why there will always be structures of trials to deal with, to test us. 

In the end, you value more each other, you learn to talk more and act more of what happened and growing together making you both grow stronger together.

And as for you, I am here and always will be here no matter what because I value, treasure and LOVE what we have and I know we still have.

What Every Woman Should Have

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own even if she never wants

to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her

dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who

lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a

recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't

take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year..." 

— Pamela Redmond Satran

just to share :)

love as always :

“I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face,I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, Meredith, and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, A Lick of Frost

I was searching for relationship quotes (friendship) and I came across with this author of as Anita Bake:Vampire Hunter and amongst the other books. I get such pleasure out of seeing old lovebirds, and I observe closely to see what traits and behaviors might be the key to their relationship success.

 They keep up with the changes. When it comes to marriage, that can be risky. The most successful couples really take note of each other's changes. They do not assume their partner is the same person he or she was 20 years ago, even if there are many similarities. What's more, they take the time to learn their partner's goals, dreams and future plans. By keeping in touch with who their partner is at this moment — and looking ahead to who he might become — they secure a truly intimate relationship
 They know how to fight fairly. It's not that happy couples never argue. Most couples have disagreements. But in a mature relationship, power isn't defined by winning an argument or getting one's way. True power comes from knowing how to discuss differences fully and honestly. If you demean your partner when you disagree, and if, at the end of an argument, you do not feel stronger and more intimate than you did before you started — you are not building a stronger, more loving relationship. Successful couples know how to argue with class and dignity. They may disagree, but in the end, they end up understanding — and respecting — their differences.

 They find new ways to play. All the research on marital satisfaction shows that couples bond more closely when they do new, innovative activities — instead of getting stuck in the same rut they've been in for the past 25 years. Whether it is learning how to sculpt together, opening an inn, or simply helping each other create a healthier lifestyle, any kind of new, enjoyable pursuit can make a couple that feel younger and more in sync — and can invigorate their love.

Pray for those who have hurt you :)

I have come across with this post on my facebook account and it is very timely. The good Lord shows compassion to those who have been hurt physically and emotionally, and for those who are continually hurting may this inspire you to move on and look forward positively on life asking Lord as our source of strength and guidance.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want;
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the
Lord forever.

Psalm 23

and he is growing so fast :)

"The greatest guy I know looks me in the eyes and calls me Mommy!"

No amount of gold could ever compare, to the gift of love that my son shares. I've been blind and I couldn't see that all the love I've wanted is right here in front of me.

He gives reason to get through another day.

Maybe it's how he loves me in his special little way.

And when it gets hard for me to sleep at night....

He wraps his little arms around me and says God will make things right!

From sweet gentle touches to his bear hugs and a kiss...

He makes this hell on earth seem more like a peaceful bliss.

That great big smile and the twinkle in his eyes....

Every time I look at him it makes me want to cry.

But they're not tears of sorrow; they're tears of pride and joy....

To know that all the love in heaven is wrapped around my little boy

His turning 9 next week and I cannot help but cry every time I look at him, that no amount of satisfaction by just looking at him. Sometimes, I would ask the dear Lord to give me more strength just so I could give the world to him.

eat. pray. love.

I have come across just tonight watching the whole of Julia Robert's movie with the famous book of Elizabeth Gilbert's, Eat, Pray, Love

Finding your balance in life is not an easy thing to do, it may be so easy to say but so hard to take risk and to give in. What I've learned is that you learn to appreciate simple things in life that could you'll never know is and will be the major part of balance in your life.

But the greatest part of it all is Love, you take risk, you give all. It may be scary sometimes but it's always worth the try, if you loose in the end you know you did your best and you gave your all. :)

Here are some of the famous lines which I have come across and plan to meditate upon,,,,, :)


“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert


“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love


“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love


“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

and here is the most strucking one,,,

“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert