Do you have TRUST issues?

Nobody likes to be fighting with a loved one, but a loss of trust causes serious problems. Trust issues are hard to overcome and often keep popping up. You and your partner must resolve your trust issues if you are to move toward a more healthy relationship.

Talk it out. This seems obvious, but when two people in a relationship talk, it helps if the couple trusts each other. Building trust can be especially hard with someone you're in a relationship with because that person has the power to hurt you. By practicing constant communication and keeping it open and honest, trust can be slowly built, or rebuilt.

Forget the past. Don't hold on to old hurts. Everyone's been hurt, and you need to work through those issues, not hold on to them and shove them in the other person's face. This will only make things worse, and it won't resolve anything. The important thing is to not dwell on the things that happened.

Focus on the present. Don't let your mind think about the bad things that could happen. When you focus on what could be, you're heading down a road that destroys trust. Banish negative thoughts and think about what IS happening, not what could happen.

Take it slowly. Take your relationship day by day and communicate daily as well. Don't expect all of your walls to come crumbling down overnight--it takes work, and time.

Building trust takes time and rebuilding trust takes even longer. Remember, it's a process. :)

On being happy,,,

As we all have likely noticed by now, there is endless information all around us these days dealing with the topic of happiness, and specifically, how to be happy. There is no shortage of books, blog posts,  & documentaries on the subject. 

 It’s naturally a popular subject because it’s the one thing we are all after. And one would think that since there has been this explosion of material dealing with how we should go about achieving happiness, we’d all have it in the bag. 

 But somehow we don’t. 

 We’re still searching. Why is that? I mean it seems pretty simple: happiness is a choice, so choose it. Right?  

Mission accomplished. Think positive thoughts & go forth being happy. It’s all about the attitude, so improve your attitude. Voilà! Happiness is right there. And let’s not forget the importance of Gratitude. 

 Counting your blessings each day is a sure fire way to finding happiness.

It may sound like I am mocking or being sarcastic, but I actually believe all of these things. 

 I just don’t believe they are easy to do. I think these messages are too often delivered in an oversimplified manner and with not enough direction on what it takes to put such shifts in attitude, perspective and behavior into practice. 

 And happiness does inevitably take practice. For some it will require more practice than for others. 

 I learned just recently that people are born with a happiness baseline. How happy and optimistic we naturally are is in our DNA. The good news is, the level of happiness we inherit accounts for only 50% of our total measure of happiness. A good portion of the rest is absolutely up to us, but it will take some work.

:)

when nails grow,,,

When nails grow, we cut the nails not the fingers.
Similarly, when misunderstandings grow, we should cut the misunderstandings not the relationship.

I have loved and I always will
love you,,,

I have to ask because
it bothers me same with what
you will do,,,,

this shouldn't be the end because this is just a
small pebble of what we have gone through,,,

 all I wanted was security,,,,

I have given my everything and willingly still to be there for you

after all that has been through,,,

willing even if I am not the least in your priority,,,

willing even if we come second in your life,,,,

but then I guess you will never
understand my point of view,,,

relationships do not work that way,,,

and if you plan on leaving US again,,,

because of this lame situation,,,

there will never be another because you will be my last.

We love you always bear that in mind.

Friendship,,,what's the real deal?

Friendship is a relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other.

Friendships and acquiantancship are thought of as spanning across the same continum.

The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy and zoology. (WHAT THE HELL?????!!!)

Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory relational dialects, and attachments styles,,,,ERRRRRRRR??????

The value of friendship is often the result of friends consistently demonstrating the following:

-The tendency to desire what is best for the other
-sympathy  and empathy
-honesty, even in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth
-Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
-Enjoyment of each other's company
-trust in one another
-Positively strong, deep, close reciprocity, mutuality — equal give-and-take between the two parties
-The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.

Friendship has two dimensions.

 The two dimension include: 

quality and conflict. 

The quality of friendship is important for a persons well being and it contributes to the closeness of friends. Within the quality of friendship, it is important to have healthy and interesting interaction. This type of interaction leads to a higher quality of friendship. The second dimension is conflict, which connects with the quality of friendships. High quality friendships have great ways of resolving conflict which ultimately leads to a stronger and healthier relationship.

In this basis, friendships rule in every relationship in this world. May it be from your Parent-Child, Husband-Wife, Boyfriends-Girlfriends and Friends-Friends.

So just enjoy, and nourish the relationship and grow with each other as any conflicts arises sit and talk what other way to do than expressing and pouring out your heart.

:)

when enough is enough,,,,

Lately, I've been approached by a friend who was having relationship troubles, yes she is in a relationship but with uncertainties and just like a sinking sand,,,,she has been sinking all along deep inside,,,without the partner knowing it and that the partner would not open up and would just shush her out.

There are few things more difficult than really taking a close look at our troubled relationship, even if you know it is the right things to do. Many unhealthy relationships go on for far longer than they should for several reasons, none of which usually lead to one or both partners actually finding happiness.

When you feel that something is seriously wrong between you and your partner, the worst possible mistake you can make is to let it go, pretend that nothing is happening. While some minor problems may fade away when left alone, most only become worse over time and those who want a relationship to last may find heartache at the end, despite their hope.

Some of the most common reasons for avoiding ending a relationship have little to do with the dynamic the individuals share and are more often caused by underlying problems, ones that the people involved may not even be aware of:

Fear of Being Alone: Unfortunately, while love may bring a great deal of companionship, the wrong kind can feel lonelier than being single. The desire to have friendship in your life is not a good reason to stay in a romantic relationship and may put too much of a burden on your partner.

Time Invested: Many couples won't even consider logical break up advice even when the relationship has become far more negative than is healthy for either partner simply because they feel that they have invested too much time and effort into making it work. This need to succeed is often seen in those with more competitive natures and while this may serve them well in some aspects of life, it is also important to know when it's time to call it quits.

Scary Out There: Certain individuals will remain in their current, unhappy relationships because the idea of meeting singles and trying to find new love simply terrifies them. The thought of starting a new relationship, in essence starting from scratch, is so frightening that they will overlook their current position, even when it has become dangerous.

Still Have Feelings: Falling in love and maintaining a relationship are often intertwined but not the same thing. Many couples resist the idea of breaking it off because though they may recognize the poor situation they are in, the still care for their partners.

These reasons and many more keep millions of unhappy couples together every day. While certain reasons are understandable to a degree, such as staying together for the sake of children, for the most part it robs one or both partners of a potential happiness and causes a great deal of pain over time.

One of the greatest questions a person who is considering just how bad their relationship might be is this: Are you happy or unhappy most of the time? Whether you need to create a pros and cons list or simply delve through the past year and try to recall your happiest moments, it is important to be able to identify the cause of your negative feelings.

Another truly horrible aspect of a break up is that in many cases one or both partners may still care for each other and may continue to try working on a relationship that has little hope of succeeding. While it certainly may work out in the end of two people love one another enough and are willing to work on how they interact, in many cases this become a long and grueling process, finally resulting in an exhausting end.

In order to avoid some of the worst pitfalls of a bad relationship, it is vital to recognize where the problem areas are and whether or not they may be worked on over time. An example of this might be one partner's continued bad habit over many years. If this habit caused the other partner to feel very negative and they see no sign of improvement over time this may mean that the relationship is not progressing. This lack of effort on one side may also indicate a reluctance to compromise, which is essential to any strong, healthy relationship.

Looking toward the future may not include seeking out new people right away and those who feel frightened by the prospect of being alone should take comfort in the time they will have to better understand themselves. In time, if a person feels healed and ready there are an abundance of ways to meet people. 

Some may choose to become more active in their community and find other with common interests. Others may choose to find love online where they can select from groups of people who are more likely to suit their needs. However the path is chosen, there are plenty of opportunities to begin again if you should so desire and a better chance of happiness awaiting you than the current relationship which has become more of a burden than a blessing.

Remember that in order to secure your chance at happiness; you must be able to move away from the things which would destroy it. Though it may take reserves of courage you did not know you had, if it is time to say goodbye to a relationship that has little or no chance of making you happy, the right thing to do is to strive for something that will.

:)

when is LOVE complicated?

For real, is it really that complicated? or is it because of people making it more complicated? love gives out extremes emotions that really depends if it is going to be happy or heart break.

But on the other side, people have their own set of thinking. That's why even if you become a "psychic" or just a plain mind-reader, there are no uncertainties. Change comes in, in the nick of time.

Love is so complicated, there are no reasons or explanations why do you love the person. It is much more felt using the heart than the mind. There could be answers, but it is not sure or not even a concrete answer you will find. This could not even be answered even if man seeks for it, looking and looking for answers. A pretty face? kindness? security? what more?

Love is so complicated that no amount of material things that could compare your feelings to that person. You may have roses, chocolates or even a DVD of  her favorite movie. But the question is, does it please her? with things like that? will she love you back?. Others may fall just by the mere greeting of "good morning" may it be text, chat or a phone call or even in person. Some just a mere greeting falls inlove.

Love is so complicated, time has it's own difference. somtimes you are both ok with it at times, not. One moment you're sweet and the next thing there's you are like strangers in the night. It's but natural. Part of life. There are no permanent things in this world.

Love is so complicated when small things, becomes big. You may think, you won't be jealous of his friends who are so close to him even with the looks of the feet flirting back at him. He merely just said "hi" and some may even have argued about it. The simplest things, can heat up. And the simple misunderstanding can lead to complications.

Love is so complicated that you dreaming  of FOREVER, just vanquished in the dark, just like a bubble. In one snap, it just vanished like NEVER-MORE. Because this is just it. the product of  romantic relationship can lead into two things : Never-ending like "till death do us part" and Uncertainties if it is going to last. Is there a difference? there is a fact that as long as the feeling is still there and respect for each other you will really be together in for a good ride.

But how about married couples? even if romance is gone they are still together? they made a promise to each other. That is why it is called marriage, but romance can really fade. What's left is friendship. But it grows deep with  understanding and respect. Because they know each other that well and foundation of thier love for each other is because of friendship.

Love is so complicated that when friends slap you the answer to your problem about your girl/ guy. Yes, still it seems blurry not until he /she tells you. It may be that the signs are already present that he is not interested in you anymore. It may be your friends have given you a thousands a shore of advices telling you to STOP. But not until he tells you himself, you won't wake up. Not until you hear the word STOP or like IT'S OVER,  you still hold on. does it make you stupid? and even if how many times you seek advice to Papa Jack or Joe d' Mango (both are famous LOVE radio advisers in the Philippines) and still you cannot do it? then what's the use of the advice? What for? as always nothing.

Love is so complicated that the word  MOVE-ON is so hard to mention. Specially if you really are not sure. Because you'll never know you might bump into each other and might want to patch things up. There is a saying PAST IS PAST you cannot bring it back anymore. But on the contrary "Love is sweeter the second time around " .Really depends on how many chances you are willing to give. Zero-tolerance might come into place, pity you or maybe stupid you.

And even if how many times you read this blog for how many times and even other articles about complications in love, for sure you would not understand it, specially if you are in that kind of state. It's unruly. That's why it is complicated.

Strangely enough--Sometimes, the wrong choices will bring us to the right places :)

Making the wrong choice is something most of us are terrified of doing. Sometimes we are so afraid that we will choose wrongly, that we procrastinate endlessly to avoid choosing at all. Even not choosing is a choice though, and in the grand scheme of things there is no such thing as a bad choice. Even a choice that ends up working out differently than you might have hoped can bring many opportunities for growth and learning.

The only wrong choice is to cling steadfastly to a situation that is causing you pain. Refusing to let go of a miserable situation not only makes you unhappy, but it blocks you from finding positive new opportunities.

Whatever your fears and beliefs may be, if you are in a situation that is causing you pain and unhappiness, then staying is not the choice of your higher self. If it feels wrong, that’s because it is. While a certain amount of discomfort is fine and necessary in learning to take chances and to grow, serious emotional suffering is a sign that all is not well.

With physical exercise, you can expect to feel a little sore as you push your fitness level to the limit. If your exercise regime is causing intense pain, though, you are doing something wrong. The same goes for life choices. There is nothing wrong with feeling that you are out of your comfort zone as you explore new opportunities and seek growth and advancement. But, if your choices and circumstances are causing you extreme distress, you really need to question your reasons for sticking with them.

There are many reasons that people stay in situations that cause them distress, and most of these reasons are based on fear. These fears can range from beliefs that you don’t deserve to be happy or that it is not possible to be happy, fear of change and the unknown, and a feeling that it is better to have something, even something painful, rather than nothing. It is scary to step into a void. Most people do everything within their power to avoid a feeling of emptiness, but it is only by becoming empty that we can receive the miracles of life.

Sometimes people stay in a bad situation because they feel that they have invested so much time, energy, emotion, and that by walking away, they would be ‘losing’ their investment. Energy can never be lost. Anything that you have put your heart and soul into will undoubtedly have given you much in terms of growth and learning. I am grateful for the many experiences I have had- even the painful ones. It is often from pain that we learn the most.

However, to stay trapped in a situation that you have come to realize is not healthy, and is hurting you, is a bad choice. However difficult and painful it will be to walk away, it will certainly be more painful to stay.

Emotional pain is the message of your higher self telling you that something is wrong. Listen to the message, and look within yourself for the courage to break free.

You do deserve to be happy, happiness is possible, and life and love don’t need to cause you pain. There is no wrong choice in life, but there are certainly some choices that have much more happiness to offer.


Choose happiness!

come to think of it,,,,woman's intuition :)

I believe women live in their own pocket of time. As nurturer's of the earth, women have a way of transcending their senses. As earth nurturer's they do not freely follow the road of logic. Instead they float through life's curves by their hunches. Utilizing the appearance of common sense, the female life scientist translates and conceptualizes their world very differently. Mathematical formulas and philosophical analogies don't apply to their world at hand. 

Women live in an emotional dimension. They are powerfully tapped into their hunches.               A woman's intuition is her inner guidance. The skill of reading herself has been an attribute of women for centuries. Emotionally travel-prone women travel their hunches, stopping at every gut feeling they have. Their sensitivity to their common sense and to the environment that surrounds them makes them the ultimate life traveler. A woman's ability to tap into her higher wisdom gives her the ability to look inward to her understanding of the world that encompasses her. 

Therefore, a woman doesn't play with her hunches and emotions. She trusts them. Interestingly, a woman's intuition is uncannily accurate. A mind oasis of meaning and significance, a woman's intuition is the magical sensitivity that makes her warmhearted by nature.

Here are ways a I could think of  to tap into our intuition.

1. Plunge into your feelings. Believe in them. When you feel a certain way stop and give thought to how you are feeling.

2. Express your inner feelings to others. Your hunches should not be kept a secret.

3. Freedom of self-expression is essential. Explore laughter, explore tears, be emotional. Keeping feelings inside inhibits emotional experience.

4. Know that you are a mystery. Accept that you can't figure yourself out!

5. Your emotions are the breadcrumbs to your essence. Follow them diligently and they will lead you to who you are...someday.

6. Never second-guess yourself. Each day you must climb the ladder of inner wisdom. At first the steps may seem rickety, but as your belief in yourself firms up, you will soon be able to climb the ladder of inner wisdom without grabbing on to the guardrail of life.

7. Listen to your hunches in the workplace place, as well as in your personal life. Work values can be enhanced by gut feelings. The best business ideas have been known to come from a hunch.

8. Never discredit yourself. A deep understanding of your feelings is essential. You cannot tap into your hunches if you veer off the road of self-respect. Become acquainted with the learner in you. Remember, the learner in you is the scholar. It is the learner within us that gives us character and helps us reach for impossible obstacles.

Just open your door :)

thank you LORD,,,,

There are tons and tons and even trillion things to thank the Lord for. When we cease to forget at times, where the Lord only asks us a simple Thank You and nothing else, nothing more. I would always, and religiously thank the Lord even for the simplest things in life that comes in my way. May it be good or bad, it's always a test of faith.

As always he gives us the unconditional love that nobody or no one else could give. It's always his will and his will be done.

So in every way that we can just give thanks for he is good and he is God.



Dear father, lord, and savior hear my prayer. 

Quiet my heart and mind so I may accept your glorious blessings.

Dear Lord I Love you soo much, because of you I have all the blessings in life that would make anybody absolutely full and complete. Dear lord you know my needs and wants and I know that I have to suffer and go through trials in life to understand my faith.

 Please fill my soul and life with the ability to do miraculous things in your name, to change this world that is corrupted in every way.

Thank you for my life, family, friends, and successes. I ask these things in your name.

Amen 

:)