Lately, I've been approached by a friend who was having relationship troubles, yes she is in a relationship but with uncertainties and just like a sinking sand,,,,she has been sinking all along deep inside,,,without the partner knowing it and that the partner would not open up and would just shush her out.
There are few things more difficult than really taking a close look at our troubled relationship, even if you know it is the right things to do. Many unhealthy relationships go on for far longer than they should for several reasons, none of which usually lead to one or both partners actually finding happiness.
Some of the most common reasons for avoiding ending a relationship have little to do with the dynamic the individuals share and are more often caused by underlying problems, ones that the people involved may not even be aware of:
Fear of Being Alone: Unfortunately, while love may bring a great deal of companionship, the wrong kind can feel lonelier than being single. The desire to have friendship in your life is not a good reason to stay in a romantic relationship and may put too much of a burden on your partner.
Time Invested: Many couples won't even consider logical break up advice even when the relationship has become far more negative than is healthy for either partner simply because they feel that they have invested too much time and effort into making it work. This need to succeed is often seen in those with more competitive natures and while this may serve them well in some aspects of life, it is also important to know when it's time to call it quits.
Scary Out There: Certain individuals will remain in their current, unhappy relationships because the idea of meeting singles and trying to find new love simply terrifies them. The thought of starting a new relationship, in essence starting from scratch, is so frightening that they will overlook their current position, even when it has become dangerous.
Still Have Feelings: Falling in love and maintaining a relationship are often intertwined but not the same thing. Many couples resist the idea of breaking it off because though they may recognize the poor situation they are in, the still care for their partners.
These reasons and many more keep millions of unhappy couples together every day. While certain reasons are understandable to a degree, such as staying together for the sake of children, for the most part it robs one or both partners of a potential happiness and causes a great deal of pain over time.
One of the greatest questions a person who is considering just how bad their relationship might be is this: Are you happy or unhappy most of the time? Whether you need to create a pros and cons list or simply delve through the past year and try to recall your happiest moments, it is important to be able to identify the cause of your negative feelings.
Another truly horrible aspect of a break up is that in many cases one or both partners may still care for each other and may continue to try working on a relationship that has little hope of succeeding. While it certainly may work out in the end of two people love one another enough and are willing to work on how they interact, in many cases this become a long and grueling process, finally resulting in an exhausting end.
In order to avoid some of the worst pitfalls of a bad relationship, it is vital to recognize where the problem areas are and whether or not they may be worked on over time. An example of this might be one partner's continued bad habit over many years. If this habit caused the other partner to feel very negative and they see no sign of improvement over time this may mean that the relationship is not progressing. This lack of effort on one side may also indicate a reluctance to compromise, which is essential to any strong, healthy relationship.
Looking toward the future may not include seeking out new people right away and those who feel frightened by the prospect of being alone should take comfort in the time they will have to better understand themselves. In time, if a person feels healed and ready there are an abundance of ways to meet people.
Some may choose to become more active in their community and find other with common interests. Others may choose to find love online where they can select from groups of people who are more likely to suit their needs. However the path is chosen, there are plenty of opportunities to begin again if you should so desire and a better chance of happiness awaiting you than the current relationship which has become more of a burden than a blessing.
Remember that in order to secure your chance at happiness; you must be able to move away from the things which would destroy it. Though it may take reserves of courage you did not know you had, if it is time to say goodbye to a relationship that has little or no chance of making you happy, the right thing to do is to strive for something that will.
:)
