Hidden Truths About Falling Inlove

Love is oftentimes connoted with a feeling. Sure, for about five minutes. Then reality kicks in…and then love becomes the conjoined twin of the words for what may seem like an eternity to some people: "sacrifice", "commitment", "a choice". Lovely!

Like a full-time job, Olympic sport, fitness regimen, or financial investment, love, in its many forms, isn’t made for everyone unless one is truly prepared.

 -Love seems to be the hottest, most popular bachelor we’re never going to get: It’s just too damn elusive.

- Love as they say is like sweet poetry or the perfect dance between two people. But the problem is, not everyone can whip out a sonnet or bust a move like Usher. It takes much practice, patience, persistence and lonely nights.

-It always looks amazing at the start but, when the label has been made official, romance has now been replaced with too much lazy familiarity that not even a La-Z-Boy could compete. Promising, isn’t it?

- Just like having a pet or a child, commitment entails a No Return, No Exchange Policy (for as long as your pride can bear it just to say you didn’t give up first).

- It is the hardest universal subject that involves logic from the whole trial and error process, and yet no matter how many formulas you think you’ve mastered, it has another aspect in its curriculum that you can’t learn in school: band-aiding a broken heart.

- The fact that it is called “falling,” implies that there is a level of discomfort, uncertainty and vulnerability from appearing to be “weak” as you blindly (although others may call it fearlessly to sound less foolish) tread the so-called pathway to love (which is sometimes mistaken with lust).

- People are so afraid of bungee jumping or sky diving for the fear of dying in an instant and yet, “falling” in love, where if you don’t play your cards right, you can get your head, heart and soul crushed, torn, battered and bruised in a slow almost-death-like experience from the intense anguish. The worst part: it’s a slow torturous process that never leads to actual death since we were created to be resilient beings. Awesome!

- It is a drug that’s got no “Anonymous” support group other than your girlfriends’ place filled with chick flick DVDs, John Mayer’s “Heartbreak Warfare” on loop. Pajama pity party indeed!

- Another term for lover is a flame. Exactly! Just as a moth is lured to a flame or we are to an “end of season FINAL SALE” sign, it takes a hold on us, that we become defenseless. Hence the term, “burned by love...” or your credit card. Same banana.

- Just like a damn hiccup, it can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. And even if we hold our breath for 30 seconds as Google Facts swears it’ll kill the annoying reflex, it just won’t go away!!!

Yet, after all the ice cream, cheesy songs, drunken nights, and random rebound kissing have all served their purpose, by golly, it’s back in the rollercoaster saddle of this funny thing we call love.

We may have gained a few extra pounds from emotional eating or neglected our roots from not getting its monthly color retouching, but we gained such incredible insight about ourselves.

We turn out stronger, wiser, more confident individuals who ultimately seek only one type of revenge that hurts no one: to be happier.

It is only then that we can truly say that our past can no longer hurt us. They were yesterday’s news and today we’re making headlines as we return into the dating scene larger than life!

Bottom line, pain is the one thing we need to feel alive. It’s a prick on the nerve endings of our soul to realize how fleeting life and love are, that we need to grab them for dear life or the moment just might pass. We need love’s nemesis to truly understand, appreciate and respect love’s power on us: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Love truly is a drug and it’s just what the doctor recommended.

I guess that’s why they also call it, “Crazy in Love.” Anyone who’s ever been in love will say this: to experience the rush or reignite that spark just for a moment in time, they would gladly go through all the pain, all over again.

What a chick would DO at every age (inspired by COSMO MAGAZINE)

Your problems at age 28 are so different from those you had at 18. Here are some age-appropriate woes and how you can face them head-on.

Age is just a number—true, but hold it right there. Admit it: You get anxious about the number of candles adding up on your birthday cake. Unfortunately, nothing can keep you from the real woes and concerns that come at certain periods of your life. 

At 18: “Am I in the right course? Should I shift?”

Suddenly you find yourself wondering what in the world made you take this course. Now that you’re of legal age, you begin to think long-term and wonder if your course will prove to be as fun way after graduation.

 If in doubt, ask questions. Ask yourself first what it is you’re good in. There has to be something that you do better than your friends. Make list of these skills—general or specific ones. Then, write a personal mission statement that sums up your values and your ultimate goal.

At 22: “I’m so nervous about my first job. How will I know I’m on the right career path?”

 At last, you’re done with college, only to find another stretch of uncharted road ahead. Too bad, you no longer have professors to tell you what to do and how things can be done.

 Be patient. “Don’t focus on when you’re going to move up; focus on what you’re doing now. So, instead of doubting your capabilities and worrying about your future, let yourself get acquainted well with the job. Give yourself about a year before you decide whether to stay in the company or pursue another job. And in the meantime, work to the best of your ability every single workday and see what happens.

At 25: “I don’t know what to do with my life. Should I change jobs? Move out? Get married? Is this quarter-life crisis?”

Things aren’t turning out the way you wanted. It’s frustrating to have so many choices but you can’t make one. Stuck in a rut? You’re not alone.

 Be a go-getter, not a rigid “checklister.” It’s good to have a plan, but you should also be willing to welcome change and unafraid to commit mistakes every now and then. And, when faced with a multitude of options, pick one and stick to it. Sometimes, you just have to decide and be content with your decision, otherwise you will continue to be torn between the reality of what you have and the fantasy in your head of what you think would be better.

At 28: “I’m already 28 and I still don’t have savings. Trust me, my financial status is less than impressive.”

By now, your savings account should be steadily growing. Instead, you have an outstanding credit card balance and bills to pay.

First, pay your bills on time and pay off your debt. Monitor and control the outflow of your money. And when you do need to spend, don’t max out your credit card. Choose a card with a lower credit limit to instill some discipline. Finally, automate your savings. You can ask your bank to funnel a certain amount of your checking account into your savings. As you become more adept at saving money, increase the amount and keep on saving up.

At 30: “I’m 30 and I still don’t have a boyfriend. Will I still have a chance to get married?”

 You have it all—except for a gutsy man to ask for your hand. Worse, your friends and family can’t just help but prod at your almost happy life.

Have the time of your life, whether you’re single or not. Sure, you’re no longer 20 years old, but that’s a good thing. This is your time to experiment and learn what would make you a happier person. Once you start refocusing your efforts on you, instead of why you’re alone, why he isn’t proposing, or why everyone you know has already beaten you to the bridal shop, you’ll be on your way. The more you focus on the things you can control, the less the other stuff is going to affect you.

Falling in love over and over again

Ever wondered if you will still be loving the one you are with now forever, or that if you woke up tomorrow morning you would still be feeling the same about them? 

Well, here is how you can fall in love with your partner over and over again. Just because you have been with your partner for a long time it is not a reason enough to start taking them for granted and stop doing special things for them. In fact the more you stay with a person the more special things you should do for them. This is because when you settle into something comfortable for you, something that lacks all the excitement all you will be doing is you will be boring your partner. If you do not want this to happen to you, do something special and exciting with and for your partner.

Show your partner that you appreciate all that they are and what they do. If you keep appreciating someone and not highlighting all their short comings they will love you even more. This is because they will know that you love them for them and you do not expect something more in return but just love and understanding. They will end up falling for your personality. If you are yourself, everyday there will be something new about you, something interesting that your partner would like to explore. This way your partner will be falling in love with the person that is you.

Be flexible and fun to be with, do not be rigid to a point where your partner cannot suggest anything out of the usual and expect you to be happy about it. This is because many people, In fact most people want to have some good company, someone who would make them laugh even when there is nothing to laugh about. Someone who they wont have to make an effort to entertain them but someone who when they are together, they both feel comfortable and fun to be with. That way, you will make your partner fall in love with you again every time you have a conversation and you make them feel great about themselves or something.

Make your partner feel wanted, needed and loved. Involve them in everything you do and make them feel like they are part of you. Tell them you love them and when you need them, make sure you tell them. This way, you will make your fall more and more in love whenever he or she thinks that you love them and that you need them. 

Love is a process and it needs to be natured the correct way of loving people will guarantee that the person falls in love with you all over again but if you go about it the wrong way, love will never survive long. :)

Do you have TRUST issues?

Nobody likes to be fighting with a loved one, but a loss of trust causes serious problems. Trust issues are hard to overcome and often keep popping up. You and your partner must resolve your trust issues if you are to move toward a more healthy relationship.

Talk it out. This seems obvious, but when two people in a relationship talk, it helps if the couple trusts each other. Building trust can be especially hard with someone you're in a relationship with because that person has the power to hurt you. By practicing constant communication and keeping it open and honest, trust can be slowly built, or rebuilt.

Forget the past. Don't hold on to old hurts. Everyone's been hurt, and you need to work through those issues, not hold on to them and shove them in the other person's face. This will only make things worse, and it won't resolve anything. The important thing is to not dwell on the things that happened.

Focus on the present. Don't let your mind think about the bad things that could happen. When you focus on what could be, you're heading down a road that destroys trust. Banish negative thoughts and think about what IS happening, not what could happen.

Take it slowly. Take your relationship day by day and communicate daily as well. Don't expect all of your walls to come crumbling down overnight--it takes work, and time.

Building trust takes time and rebuilding trust takes even longer. Remember, it's a process. :)

On being happy,,,

As we all have likely noticed by now, there is endless information all around us these days dealing with the topic of happiness, and specifically, how to be happy. There is no shortage of books, blog posts,  & documentaries on the subject. 

 It’s naturally a popular subject because it’s the one thing we are all after. And one would think that since there has been this explosion of material dealing with how we should go about achieving happiness, we’d all have it in the bag. 

 But somehow we don’t. 

 We’re still searching. Why is that? I mean it seems pretty simple: happiness is a choice, so choose it. Right?  

Mission accomplished. Think positive thoughts & go forth being happy. It’s all about the attitude, so improve your attitude. Voilà! Happiness is right there. And let’s not forget the importance of Gratitude. 

 Counting your blessings each day is a sure fire way to finding happiness.

It may sound like I am mocking or being sarcastic, but I actually believe all of these things. 

 I just don’t believe they are easy to do. I think these messages are too often delivered in an oversimplified manner and with not enough direction on what it takes to put such shifts in attitude, perspective and behavior into practice. 

 And happiness does inevitably take practice. For some it will require more practice than for others. 

 I learned just recently that people are born with a happiness baseline. How happy and optimistic we naturally are is in our DNA. The good news is, the level of happiness we inherit accounts for only 50% of our total measure of happiness. A good portion of the rest is absolutely up to us, but it will take some work.

:)

when nails grow,,,

When nails grow, we cut the nails not the fingers.
Similarly, when misunderstandings grow, we should cut the misunderstandings not the relationship.

I have loved and I always will
love you,,,

I have to ask because
it bothers me same with what
you will do,,,,

this shouldn't be the end because this is just a
small pebble of what we have gone through,,,

 all I wanted was security,,,,

I have given my everything and willingly still to be there for you

after all that has been through,,,

willing even if I am not the least in your priority,,,

willing even if we come second in your life,,,,

but then I guess you will never
understand my point of view,,,

relationships do not work that way,,,

and if you plan on leaving US again,,,

because of this lame situation,,,

there will never be another because you will be my last.

We love you always bear that in mind.

Friendship,,,what's the real deal?

Friendship is a relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other.

Friendships and acquiantancship are thought of as spanning across the same continum.

The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy and zoology. (WHAT THE HELL?????!!!)

Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory relational dialects, and attachments styles,,,,ERRRRRRRR??????

The value of friendship is often the result of friends consistently demonstrating the following:

-The tendency to desire what is best for the other
-sympathy  and empathy
-honesty, even in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth
-Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
-Enjoyment of each other's company
-trust in one another
-Positively strong, deep, close reciprocity, mutuality — equal give-and-take between the two parties
-The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.

Friendship has two dimensions.

 The two dimension include: 

quality and conflict. 

The quality of friendship is important for a persons well being and it contributes to the closeness of friends. Within the quality of friendship, it is important to have healthy and interesting interaction. This type of interaction leads to a higher quality of friendship. The second dimension is conflict, which connects with the quality of friendships. High quality friendships have great ways of resolving conflict which ultimately leads to a stronger and healthier relationship.

In this basis, friendships rule in every relationship in this world. May it be from your Parent-Child, Husband-Wife, Boyfriends-Girlfriends and Friends-Friends.

So just enjoy, and nourish the relationship and grow with each other as any conflicts arises sit and talk what other way to do than expressing and pouring out your heart.

:)