How does it work? the CYCLE of LOVE

It all starts from a simple hello and hi,,,,

two steps forward,,,one step back

then the magic comes in LOVE

 you make dreams together,,,

feel all the LOVE surrounding you

no amount of time could take you apart

but then unexpectedly dreams crash and fall apart

and all the dreams became pieces of glass

 and somehow somewhere you still think of the things you do

and the way they use to be,,,but everything will just be a memory

you learn to embrace what is left behind and still LOVING and SINKING the moment

you were together.

:)

Why is LOVE so STUPID?

Love, of course, is not stupid.
Chemistry, masquerading as love, is stupid.

What is chemistry? It depends on the context. It typically means that you feel something when you are with or even think about the other person. You feel more alive. More often than not, chemistry also means, “I am interested in a sexual relationship with that person.”

Lack of chemistry tells you to say “no” to a person who otherwise seems so suited to you. But its presence tells you to say “yes”—even to a person who will guarantee a difficult relationship. Occasionally, chemistry gets it right and we make a wise relational decision, but some people win the lottery too.

It is complicated. Do you encourage marriage when there is no chemistry? Perhaps. But shouldn’t we expect that a marital partner is affected by—is moved by, feels something because of—the other person? And if chemistry connects to an interest in sex, then we would hope that there is some chemistry in every marriage. I have known people who married without any chemistry, and then, later, there was chemistry—but it was for someone else, and they renounced their marriage vows. Ugh. I love chemistry… and I hate chemistry.

What should we do when a loved one is overwhelmed by that chemical-combustion-mistaken-as-love? Here is one answer: I don’t know. I have yet to find anything that neutralizes it. Tackle the victims, tie them down, bring in a hundred witnesses to scream at and berate them, send them to boarding school—these are all fine ideas. They just don’t work. (Yes, it is sort of like treating an addiction).

But godly wisdom isn’t intimidated when we are at the end of ourselves. In fact, that is when godly wisdom begins its work. Wisdom begins with humble dependence on the Giver of Wisdom. It could include the following.

· Listen. Wisdom specializes in listening. Though chemistry can be stupid, it also has its reasons. Remember that the chemically-addled person is more like you than you think. Behind the attraction might be ordinary human desires, including the desire for a partner.

· Be concrete. What specifically are your concerns? Vague generalizations will not win the person over but prove you are simply “against them.” And be sure your objections are valid ones. Talk to another wise friend first to get an outside opinion of the relationship. For example, I know a situation in which the parents’ concerns are not valid. They are persuaded that their daughter is sinful in her desire to marry because she is not yet 25 years old. They didn’t marry before age 25, so their children shouldn’t either. These parents are imposing their own story on their daughter rather than Scripture.

· Ask the person to listen. You want the person to be wise, and wisdom listens. If the person refuses to listen, first consider how you might not be worth listening to and confess where you have gone wrong. Then appeal to the person—if the decision to marry is a good one, it should be able to bear up under the different perspectives of loved ones.

· Get help. This one can be difficult because the person believes you are simply lining up like-minded people. It works best when everyone can agree on which wise people to include.

· Keep moving toward the person in love. This becomes more difficult when the person demands that love means enthusiastic support. But biblical love is creative, and we can pray with a certain amount of confidence that our Father would allow our love to be blatant and undeniable.

Loved ones can get it wrong. An unwise relationship can grow into something better. But loved ones often get it right, especially if they are part of a larger chorus that is singing the same refrain. Either way, parents, family and friends will be led through suffering when someone they love is afflicted with stupid love. And hardships lead us to spiritual dependence and prayer.

:)

How do you say Goodbye?

When a circumstance happens that your personality might not like, it is imperative that you stop fighting what the universe is showing you, and start to look for the blessing in disguise, as well as the higher reason behind it.

When you truly learn to go with the flow, in the moment, you will gain a great deal of trust. What you will ultimately trust is that it is happening for your highest good and for the highest good of the other person. You might not see the higher reason at the current time, but you definitely will in hindsight.

You do not own another person. He or she can do whatever he or she wants to do. How could you not say goodbye if that is being asked of you? This is the root of desirous attachment. Your desires might be too attached to the other person in a way that is not healthy. The only way to release this, as with anything else, is with tremendous love and compassion for you and for the other person.

Look at what good can possibly come out of the situation. Look for what might very well be for each of your highest good. Replace "want" with "prefer". You "prefer" to trust that there are higher reasons behind this situation and what you "want" might not be possible at this time. It might be possible in the future, or never. Release that grip with a flow of unconditional love. This will serve each of you far better than holding on for dear life. As a matter of fact, a "dear life" is what you ultimately "want" both for you and the other person. Allow it to be what it is. As soon as you begin to "allow" then you will begin to feel inner peace, and the pain will vanish.

Hidden Truths About Falling Inlove

Love is oftentimes connoted with a feeling. Sure, for about five minutes. Then reality kicks in…and then love becomes the conjoined twin of the words for what may seem like an eternity to some people: "sacrifice", "commitment", "a choice". Lovely!

Like a full-time job, Olympic sport, fitness regimen, or financial investment, love, in its many forms, isn’t made for everyone unless one is truly prepared.

 -Love seems to be the hottest, most popular bachelor we’re never going to get: It’s just too damn elusive.

- Love as they say is like sweet poetry or the perfect dance between two people. But the problem is, not everyone can whip out a sonnet or bust a move like Usher. It takes much practice, patience, persistence and lonely nights.

-It always looks amazing at the start but, when the label has been made official, romance has now been replaced with too much lazy familiarity that not even a La-Z-Boy could compete. Promising, isn’t it?

- Just like having a pet or a child, commitment entails a No Return, No Exchange Policy (for as long as your pride can bear it just to say you didn’t give up first).

- It is the hardest universal subject that involves logic from the whole trial and error process, and yet no matter how many formulas you think you’ve mastered, it has another aspect in its curriculum that you can’t learn in school: band-aiding a broken heart.

- The fact that it is called “falling,” implies that there is a level of discomfort, uncertainty and vulnerability from appearing to be “weak” as you blindly (although others may call it fearlessly to sound less foolish) tread the so-called pathway to love (which is sometimes mistaken with lust).

- People are so afraid of bungee jumping or sky diving for the fear of dying in an instant and yet, “falling” in love, where if you don’t play your cards right, you can get your head, heart and soul crushed, torn, battered and bruised in a slow almost-death-like experience from the intense anguish. The worst part: it’s a slow torturous process that never leads to actual death since we were created to be resilient beings. Awesome!

- It is a drug that’s got no “Anonymous” support group other than your girlfriends’ place filled with chick flick DVDs, John Mayer’s “Heartbreak Warfare” on loop. Pajama pity party indeed!

- Another term for lover is a flame. Exactly! Just as a moth is lured to a flame or we are to an “end of season FINAL SALE” sign, it takes a hold on us, that we become defenseless. Hence the term, “burned by love...” or your credit card. Same banana.

- Just like a damn hiccup, it can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. And even if we hold our breath for 30 seconds as Google Facts swears it’ll kill the annoying reflex, it just won’t go away!!!

Yet, after all the ice cream, cheesy songs, drunken nights, and random rebound kissing have all served their purpose, by golly, it’s back in the rollercoaster saddle of this funny thing we call love.

We may have gained a few extra pounds from emotional eating or neglected our roots from not getting its monthly color retouching, but we gained such incredible insight about ourselves.

We turn out stronger, wiser, more confident individuals who ultimately seek only one type of revenge that hurts no one: to be happier.

It is only then that we can truly say that our past can no longer hurt us. They were yesterday’s news and today we’re making headlines as we return into the dating scene larger than life!

Bottom line, pain is the one thing we need to feel alive. It’s a prick on the nerve endings of our soul to realize how fleeting life and love are, that we need to grab them for dear life or the moment just might pass. We need love’s nemesis to truly understand, appreciate and respect love’s power on us: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Love truly is a drug and it’s just what the doctor recommended.

I guess that’s why they also call it, “Crazy in Love.” Anyone who’s ever been in love will say this: to experience the rush or reignite that spark just for a moment in time, they would gladly go through all the pain, all over again.

What a chick would DO at every age (inspired by COSMO MAGAZINE)

Your problems at age 28 are so different from those you had at 18. Here are some age-appropriate woes and how you can face them head-on.

Age is just a number—true, but hold it right there. Admit it: You get anxious about the number of candles adding up on your birthday cake. Unfortunately, nothing can keep you from the real woes and concerns that come at certain periods of your life. 

At 18: “Am I in the right course? Should I shift?”

Suddenly you find yourself wondering what in the world made you take this course. Now that you’re of legal age, you begin to think long-term and wonder if your course will prove to be as fun way after graduation.

 If in doubt, ask questions. Ask yourself first what it is you’re good in. There has to be something that you do better than your friends. Make list of these skills—general or specific ones. Then, write a personal mission statement that sums up your values and your ultimate goal.

At 22: “I’m so nervous about my first job. How will I know I’m on the right career path?”

 At last, you’re done with college, only to find another stretch of uncharted road ahead. Too bad, you no longer have professors to tell you what to do and how things can be done.

 Be patient. “Don’t focus on when you’re going to move up; focus on what you’re doing now. So, instead of doubting your capabilities and worrying about your future, let yourself get acquainted well with the job. Give yourself about a year before you decide whether to stay in the company or pursue another job. And in the meantime, work to the best of your ability every single workday and see what happens.

At 25: “I don’t know what to do with my life. Should I change jobs? Move out? Get married? Is this quarter-life crisis?”

Things aren’t turning out the way you wanted. It’s frustrating to have so many choices but you can’t make one. Stuck in a rut? You’re not alone.

 Be a go-getter, not a rigid “checklister.” It’s good to have a plan, but you should also be willing to welcome change and unafraid to commit mistakes every now and then. And, when faced with a multitude of options, pick one and stick to it. Sometimes, you just have to decide and be content with your decision, otherwise you will continue to be torn between the reality of what you have and the fantasy in your head of what you think would be better.

At 28: “I’m already 28 and I still don’t have savings. Trust me, my financial status is less than impressive.”

By now, your savings account should be steadily growing. Instead, you have an outstanding credit card balance and bills to pay.

First, pay your bills on time and pay off your debt. Monitor and control the outflow of your money. And when you do need to spend, don’t max out your credit card. Choose a card with a lower credit limit to instill some discipline. Finally, automate your savings. You can ask your bank to funnel a certain amount of your checking account into your savings. As you become more adept at saving money, increase the amount and keep on saving up.

At 30: “I’m 30 and I still don’t have a boyfriend. Will I still have a chance to get married?”

 You have it all—except for a gutsy man to ask for your hand. Worse, your friends and family can’t just help but prod at your almost happy life.

Have the time of your life, whether you’re single or not. Sure, you’re no longer 20 years old, but that’s a good thing. This is your time to experiment and learn what would make you a happier person. Once you start refocusing your efforts on you, instead of why you’re alone, why he isn’t proposing, or why everyone you know has already beaten you to the bridal shop, you’ll be on your way. The more you focus on the things you can control, the less the other stuff is going to affect you.

Falling in love over and over again

Ever wondered if you will still be loving the one you are with now forever, or that if you woke up tomorrow morning you would still be feeling the same about them? 

Well, here is how you can fall in love with your partner over and over again. Just because you have been with your partner for a long time it is not a reason enough to start taking them for granted and stop doing special things for them. In fact the more you stay with a person the more special things you should do for them. This is because when you settle into something comfortable for you, something that lacks all the excitement all you will be doing is you will be boring your partner. If you do not want this to happen to you, do something special and exciting with and for your partner.

Show your partner that you appreciate all that they are and what they do. If you keep appreciating someone and not highlighting all their short comings they will love you even more. This is because they will know that you love them for them and you do not expect something more in return but just love and understanding. They will end up falling for your personality. If you are yourself, everyday there will be something new about you, something interesting that your partner would like to explore. This way your partner will be falling in love with the person that is you.

Be flexible and fun to be with, do not be rigid to a point where your partner cannot suggest anything out of the usual and expect you to be happy about it. This is because many people, In fact most people want to have some good company, someone who would make them laugh even when there is nothing to laugh about. Someone who they wont have to make an effort to entertain them but someone who when they are together, they both feel comfortable and fun to be with. That way, you will make your partner fall in love with you again every time you have a conversation and you make them feel great about themselves or something.

Make your partner feel wanted, needed and loved. Involve them in everything you do and make them feel like they are part of you. Tell them you love them and when you need them, make sure you tell them. This way, you will make your fall more and more in love whenever he or she thinks that you love them and that you need them. 

Love is a process and it needs to be natured the correct way of loving people will guarantee that the person falls in love with you all over again but if you go about it the wrong way, love will never survive long. :)

Do you have TRUST issues?

Nobody likes to be fighting with a loved one, but a loss of trust causes serious problems. Trust issues are hard to overcome and often keep popping up. You and your partner must resolve your trust issues if you are to move toward a more healthy relationship.

Talk it out. This seems obvious, but when two people in a relationship talk, it helps if the couple trusts each other. Building trust can be especially hard with someone you're in a relationship with because that person has the power to hurt you. By practicing constant communication and keeping it open and honest, trust can be slowly built, or rebuilt.

Forget the past. Don't hold on to old hurts. Everyone's been hurt, and you need to work through those issues, not hold on to them and shove them in the other person's face. This will only make things worse, and it won't resolve anything. The important thing is to not dwell on the things that happened.

Focus on the present. Don't let your mind think about the bad things that could happen. When you focus on what could be, you're heading down a road that destroys trust. Banish negative thoughts and think about what IS happening, not what could happen.

Take it slowly. Take your relationship day by day and communicate daily as well. Don't expect all of your walls to come crumbling down overnight--it takes work, and time.

Building trust takes time and rebuilding trust takes even longer. Remember, it's a process. :)