When you're angry,,,,

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. 

When people become angry they can experience many different thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions. Some people experience strong feelings of resentment or hostility, raise their voice, curse, or throw things. Other people experience physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, and increases in heart rate and blood pressure. For some, angry feelings become so overwhelming they feel ready to explode. Others may not know they are angry about a situation but will feel physically ill, guilty, or will overreact to other situations. 

 Raised voice

yelling

cursing, headaches

stomach aches

 tightness in the throat

 increased heart rate

 increased blood pressure clenched fists

threatening others

 pushing

 shoving

 hitting

 feeling violated

 hostility

 resentment rage.

Many people experience these general signs of anger. Identify which feelings you experience. Then, look at how your anger develops. There are some feelings and thoughts that occur when anger begins and those that occur as anger increases.  It may be helpful to fill out an anger scale. This scale will help you identify your physical symptoms, thoughts and feelings when you first begin to feel angry and help you track how these change as your level of anger increases. In order to use the form, try to think of situations in the past where you have experienced anger and recall what feelings and symptoms you experienced. It will be helpful to think of situations where you experienced different levels of anger in order to better understand how your feelings, thoughts and physical symptoms change.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge. Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

The best way is to count from one to ten, it's like diffusing all your energy that you have counted on from anger 10 till 1. It's like releasing, destressing the energy that you have "wasted". Controlling can sometimes trigger in a good manner as it gives out positive vibrations. Whenever you face problems, encounter anger and try finding solutions it's always at the calm side that you can think of things,,,releasing air,,,,because with anger, all air is cramped up inside your head and waiting for it to explode. Slowly counting from 10 till one like diffusing a bomb can help calm things down and can release negative energy that just cramped up inside your head.

It also helps that you avoid on things that could easily trigger your anger. It can ease down the weight of the anger factor inside the body, which is the negative thoughts and feelings. 

In result, it's living a peaceful and less stressful lifetime. :)

when is it time to give up?

There comes a time when you  cannot distinguish what is giving up and when you've had enough. This is my own version, hear me out as this is just me expressing what I feel and what I just gather around from friends who got fed up and chose to walk away.

When you give up, it boils down to like a glass full of water over-poured, when you have given everything that you have, generosity comes in just to keep the relationship working because you know in your heart that there is still to fight for but then, when the significant other keeps on repeating mistake after mistake and after mistake just like a tape recorder. You suddenly come to a point that you want to give-up because you see things as not working out anymore, just like putting both your hands up in the air and say the famous line "I GIVE UP!" . To save yourself from respect and save the other significant half with respect, leaving while there is still time for respect, because if to be continued hate develops and we do not want that to happen. Before you hear and say things that could grow into fruits of spite and hatred.

When you've had enough the quickest way is to walk away quietly, leaving the memories and moving on. It's the quickest way without arguments and discussions where you have given your all and yet it is still not enough. Just walk away peacefully. We sometimes have this feeling of explaining things on why we've had enough but it's best to walk away and control what you have to say.

I guess prayer is still the best way, asking the good Lord what is the best for us for he knows best :) because amidst all of the mistakes and the troubles we have caused him he never gave up nor did he said "ENOUGH!",,,,,just a though to ponder :)

faithfulness,,,

Be faithful in any relationship!

Faithfulness is the key to great inner peace, joy, happiness and sweetness in life. 

When one is not faithful, the relationship becomes cold, bitter and painful...Love and commit. Don't hit and quit.

it's just short but very powerful give it a thought,,,,it might come in HANDY :)

How To DEAL BACK STABBERS (My own point of view :))

When you realize a friend has been talking about you in negative and detrimental ways behind your back, what should you do?

Ask your friend if you can have an important, quiet chat together. Tell your friend that you've heard negative rumors about you that were apparently sourced from your friend and that you're trying to clear up things as quickly and carefully as possible.

Seek out your friend's side of the story before making assumptions about what has happened. Use open-ended questions to encourage discussion and avoid asking specific ones or grilling your friend. Simply ask what happened. Listen attentively and stay sympathetic.
Ask your friend how he or she felt about what they said or did.

Avoid interrupting. There may be a temptation to correct things they are saying but don't; just listen for now.

Always talk to your friend away from other people. You can't have a serious conversation about your relationship issues when other people are around.

If your friend won't answer or evades the issue, persist gently but don't push. It is important to avoid lapsing into a rant or an angry tirade against your friend, as this will only cause him or her to withdraw even further. Getting caught doing something negative to a friend is beyond embarrassing; it's mortifying and most people know it's an issue of broken trust.

Tell your side of the story next. Keep a calm and steady voice and use words that express your feelings. Avoid making statements that are accusations. Simply explain how their actions have made you feel. Be as nice as possible but don't sound desperate, accusatory or angry.
Don't mention the person who told you. If they mention names, take your cue from there.


Bear in mind that people who are more removed from you than your friend may have an ax to grind or simply like to stir up trouble. It is important to keep an open mind before launching into accusing your friend of letting you down and spreading rumors about you. Consider what you know about the people who have fed the stories back to you and what their agenda might be. Consider also why you think your friend might have said something she or he shouldn't have––perhaps something slipped out without meaning to, perhaps a mistaken belief that someone else knew something caused your friend to elaborate or perhaps your friend was clueless about the real intentions of the person she or he spoke with. 

Learning from Richard Bach,,,

I’m here not because I am supposed to be here, or because I’m trapped here, but because I’d rather be with you than anywhere else in the world. ~ Richard Bach

I came across with this beautiful quote over my news feed in Facebook and it struck me hard that DEFINITELY being in love doesn't need to be because you are suppose to be needed in that place or because you were forced to be in love but because of the  that UNCONDITIONAL feeling and that feeling of you would trade anything in this world just to be with that person.

A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys,
and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to open the locks,
our truest selves step out
and we can completely
and honestly be who we are;
we can be loved for who we are
and not for who we’re pretending to be.

Each unveils the best part of the other.
No matter what else goes wrong around us,
with that one person
we’re safe in our own paradise.

Our soulmate is someone
who shares our deepest longings,
our sense of direction.
When we’re two balloons,
and together our direction is up,
chances are we’ve found the right person.

Our soulmate is the one
who makes life
come to life.

Part of us is always the observer,
and no matter what,
it observes.
It watches us.
It does not care
if we are happy
or unhappy,
if we are sick or well,
if we live or die.
Its only job is to sit there
on our shoulder
and pass judgment
on whether we are
worthwhile human beings.

----- RICHARD BACH

Life As We Know It :)

 and so was staying home and watching tv ,,,,contemplating,,,,HA! and this timely movie comes in :)
huraay for HBO !!! Life As We Know It,,,

Holly and Eric were set up on a blind date by their friends, Peter and Allison who are married. After Peter and Allison are killed in an accident, they learn that they have been named as the guardians to Peter and Allison's daughter, Sophie. So they move into their house and try their best to honor their friends' wishes. But raising a child puts a crimp on their style and they don't exactly get along.

I am a great fan of romantic comedies and mind you not all of them are the  same. I actually laughed (unexpected) and even cried (really unexpected) during this movie. There is great chemistry between all the cast members . The premise that the story is based on is presented as very believable. I found myself immersed in the possibility of this happening in real life, not just reel life! I think the director brought out the best in the actors. Katie Heigl has more depth as an actor than I gave her credit for. Josh Duhmel proves to be more than just a pretty face. I really loved this movie and was so glad I went to see it!

:) just a heap of  trying to be happy and making things possible won'y hurt you a bit :)

How does it work? the CYCLE of LOVE

It all starts from a simple hello and hi,,,,

two steps forward,,,one step back

then the magic comes in LOVE

 you make dreams together,,,

feel all the LOVE surrounding you

no amount of time could take you apart

but then unexpectedly dreams crash and fall apart

and all the dreams became pieces of glass

 and somehow somewhere you still think of the things you do

and the way they use to be,,,but everything will just be a memory

you learn to embrace what is left behind and still LOVING and SINKING the moment

you were together.

:)